dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so let's talk penis.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
