Taylor Swift is so right about you.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
