Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
