How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
