Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
