he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
