I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
