There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
