Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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