I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize