So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
