Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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