I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
