DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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