so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
