I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
