dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
