HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
