escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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