i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
