Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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