awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
