TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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