the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize