I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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