don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
honey bunches of taint.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize