Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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