i don't like sucking hair
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
