no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize