If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
