explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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