did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize