She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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