im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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