My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
mondays should just be called national damage control day
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
