you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How external is "for external use only"?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
