Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
