If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
