maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
