We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
