who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize