i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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