no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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