Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
