since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
