Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
