my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
