i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Two words: blizzard sex
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
