Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
