That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
