the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
