FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
