Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
