jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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