I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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