i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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