hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Randomize
