I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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