i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize