she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
