Will you blow on my dice?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
