Do you still have your period?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
