the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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