That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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