So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
