Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
