no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize