I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
