this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
